Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
