i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
