oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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