I am spending my child support on dildos
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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