It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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