What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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