I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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