This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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