Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Hippo gnu deer
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
