Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
