I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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