From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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