I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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