she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Randomize
