ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
