Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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