Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
