Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize