tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
