soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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