I'm gonna have a badass scar
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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