I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
