she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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