You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
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