ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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