dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
