I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
