It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
