I'm jealous of your bromance
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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