he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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