Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
