well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
