member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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