On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
