Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
