the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
