Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize