Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
