why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
