Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
