You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
and you fell through a lawn chair
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
