Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
