Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
