THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize