i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
