Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Randomize
