Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
