I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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