its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
