While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
