I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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