im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Never underestimate the power of titties
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
