I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
