You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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