They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
