I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
