I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
