If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize