sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
as a side note pls kill me
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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