All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
