the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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