24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize