He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
