her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
