did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
