So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
