Sry I called you an 8
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
